Category Archives: Humor

Williston tent on the lam

Posted on Friday, May 1, 2009 by No comments yet

First it’s missing gnomes in Hinesburg, now we hear from Alex on Front Porch Forum in Williston about his escaped tent…

Sometime during the 40 mph winds Thursday night, our tent (which was staked to the ground with 8 stakes!) for some reason decided to see where the wind would take it…. literally.

Perhaps it was not feeling appreciated, or just wanted a change of scenery…. whatever the reason, the tent is gone and could not be located as I drove through the neighborhood early this morning.

For all I know, it could have ended up in Winooski by now, but if someone sees or has heard of a ginormous camping tent blowing through your backyard, please let me know.

Description:  It’s a large beige colored tent.  Poles may no longer be included… may have some stuffed animals inside enjoying the ride.

Bear Market finally hits Baldwin Rd

Posted on Monday, March 23, 2009 by No comments yet

Bill’s not letting the economy — or a bear attack — get him down (as posted to his Hinesburg neighbors on Front Porch Forum today)…

Bear Market finally hits Baldwin Rd

Delighted with the Budd and Schubart bird delis and their cornucopia of curious feeding devices, a hungry black bear, out for a Saturday evening ramble on the old French Farm, made short work of the feeders and poles, leaving a scattered array of mangled metal and plastic on the deck and front lawn of each residence and making a great deal of noise. Great fun.

Bill@Schubart.com
http://www.Schubart.com

Library Book Cart Precision Drill Team Seeking Leader

Posted on Tuesday, March 10, 2009 by No comments yet

My favorite Front Porch Forum headline of the day comes from Penny in Essex Junction, VT…

Library Book Cart Precision Drill Team Seeking Leader

Brownell Library Is Looking for Book Cart Precision Drill Team Leader for its entry in the Memorial Day Parade Saturday 23 May.

Have you always wanted to drive one of those little cars in a parade? Brownell Library staff is hoping to put together a drill team of book carts, but we are short on “marching experience”. We DO Have a copy of The Library Book Cart Precision Drill Team Manual. We think this could be heaps of fun. Want to join us? Want to LEAD US?

Contact Penny Pillsbury 878-6955 or http://www.brownelllibrary.org

Those crazy librarians.  😉

Truth be told, this is one group of people who make great use of FPF… local librarians reach a sizable fraction of their constituents with the click of a button.

People saying it in NINE words…

Posted on Tuesday, January 6, 2009 by 13 comments

Front Porch Forum members are having fun with the Nine Words for 2009 raffle.  Any resident of Chittenden County, VT may join FPF and enter the raffle!  Some entries from today…

  • Who Could Write A Poem With Just Nine Words?
  • “She is not home and she never will be.”
  • One orange mitten, on porch railing, Locust and Chestnut.
  • Bought a house in Williston. Neighbors made it home.
  • Bunny tracks, but none of us ever sees him!
  • Live, love and light up your neighborhood in 2009?
  • Anyone know about outdoor skating rinks in the area?
  • sometimes there is an ice rink at roosevelt park.
  • dog poop on my lawn, please pick it up.
  • Let’s build stairs from Battery Park to the Waterfront.
  • So Long George Bush; Can I Help You Pack?
  • Whose hand is emerging from the pothole on Bayview?
  • Democracy is unfinished business. We all have tasks waiting.
  • Truck bed camper for sale. Great shape. Sleeps 4.
  • Neighborhood improvement idea: more block parties, fewer leaf blowers!
  • Seeking advice on scanners for photos and kids’ artwork.
  • May we agree on peace so all live freely.
  • Wendy Webster cast as VanHelsing in Vergennes production “Dracula.”
  • Subaru Imprezza, runs like a top, For sale. $500.
  • With Luck, Love, Sweat and Tears… Best of Years!
  • I use aol, did this post. did I win?
  • Same name, different lives, different gains -Would you switch?
  • Avon lady moving to Essex Junction. Thanks and goodbye!
  • Four hardwood barstools, excellent condition if interested email me.
  • Jericho Corners, the way our community stays in touch…
  • I have a sewing machine anyone can borrow anytime.
  • Out of condition guy: looking for weights exercise machine
  • We saw a fox in Resurrection Park this fall.
  • An idea to remember: Don’t believe everything you think.
  • Recommendations for good sledding hills close to our neighborhood?
  • Tickets, bags, ID, 4 am alarm. Vermont. Ice storm.
  • I’d enter, but I never win anything in these.
  • Hang laundry, skip shower, walk to work, sleep peacefully.
  • Need help with small design projects? call TTdesign 869-9955.
  • World peace will happen through our own inner peace.
  • “With a little love, we could shake it up”
  • Happy New Year to all; let’s get to work.
  • Looking for old computers to give to my nieces
  • Free crib available. White in color. Call Missy 453-7797.
  • Apartment Available: One bedroom, fenced yard, love pets! Call!
  • Come on seek God’s face and ask for peace.
  • Thanks to all who support Burlington’s beautiful community gardens!
  • Use Front Porch Forum to knit your neighborhood together.
  • The Club de francais is restarting soon, keep posted!
  • “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”
  • Snowshoe, sled, ski, schuss, slip, slide, schmooze and snooze.
  • Kids all grown up? We need a bike trailer.
  • Merry Christmas to everyone I didn’t get cards to!
  • Snowy forecast, groundhog sees shadow. Note: Get skis tuned!
  • I wish more people would join our neighborhood forum.
  • Southcreek condo for rent. Call 878-1099 for more information. Toni Dunn
  • Supportive Personalized Fitness Training Call Heather Twenty Years Experience
  • Pet sitting at my home in South Burlington funfunfun@chowchowchow.com
  • Next day I shall start a nine word poem…
  • I am very happy to see the sun today!
  • Hello Dolly auditions, Jan. 12-15, SBHS, 6-9.
  • The inauguration fills me with optimism for our world!
  • I really don’t think this is a good idea.
  • What a great opportunity with only nine words. Thanks!
  • Welcome: ONEwest Inauguration Open House Potluck 4-10 January 20
  • January’s here. Spring can’t be too far behind. Hooray!
  • Mailman misses mailbox Monday mainly due to snow pile
  • Snow on Thursday! Shovel your walk and stay warm.
  • Voices from Chernobyl, Jan. 23rd, 7:30 PM, UU Burlington
  • Help. Have Vista. Need to set up files. Thanks.
  • The world can be vast and cold and cruel.
  • selling electronic cash register, battery backup. info available 123-4567
  • Unemployed. Looking tax preparation. Current guy: $$$$. Anybody cheaper?
  • Vermont Snow Days make for great family FUN days!
  • Burton Hale mens size 7.5 Still in the box!
  • 9 Words For You From a Famous Chinese Philosopher… “He who will not economize will have to agonize.”
  • Eating Well Diet Cookbook (v-trim) by UVM professor-free.
  • Thank you Professor Brookes for your creative 2009 challenge!
  • What flower grows between your nose and chin? Tulips!
  • I love to live in the Old North End!
  • I am really going to miss President Bush’s “Bushisms!”
  • And now for something completely different – snow and ice.

UPDATE 1:  Posting a comment to this blog will NOT enter you in the raffle! You must post to your FPF neighborhood forum to enter the drawing.

UPDATE 2:  More entries and the winners!

Seeking Vintage Hearse

Posted on Tuesday, December 30, 2008 by No comments yet

Front Porch Forum gets lots of predictable postings among neighbors, but I didn’t see this one coming…

“Does anyone know of a place that would have a vintage style Hearse that I could rent like a Limo?  Do I just start cold calling Funeral Parlors?”  -Brennan in Burlington’s Old North End

“Cold calling” indeed.

Meatloaf memorabilia… didn’t know there was such a thing

Posted on Monday, August 11, 2008 by No comments yet

Favorite Front Porch Forum posting of the day (from my neighbor, Don)…

Neighbors – I am looking to buy a vinyl version of Meatloaf “Back Into Hell” (it’s the Bat out of Hell II), from around 1993, I think. The condition of the vinyl is not important, but my sister wants a cover in good condition to complete a full set of Meatloaf memorabilia. I guess there’s no accounting for taste, but she is my sister, so I said I’d help. Any aging head-bangers out there?

Now that’s a good brother.

Fowl Play Indeed

Posted on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 by No comments yet

Wendy in Winooski offered some of her garden plants to her neighbors via Front Porch Forum yesterday.  This kind gesture didn’t work out so well…

Okay – I suppose I should have been more descriptive about those hens and chicks i wanted folks to help themselves to. They are small, round, green and grow in the ground.

A flamingo lawn ornament is pink, plastic, and stuck in the ground.

Someone apparently didn’t know the difference and removed the flamingo.  Oh well.

Baby-proofing with fridge box

Posted on Tuesday, June 3, 2008 by No comments yet

Laurel in South Burlington posted the following to her FPF neighborhood forum today…

Hi all – It’s a long story, but I’m looking for an extremely large box, like a refrigerator-sized box, to help me with babyproofing. If you have one, please let me know!

My wife and I have our own houseful of babies and I can only imagine Laurel’s plans.  😉

Very Important Posting

Posted on Friday, April 18, 2008 by No comments yet

Perhaps the most important neighborhood posting ever made on Front Porch Forum came through in Williston today…

“Hello – We just moved to the area and heard the ice cream truck!  Is there anyone who knows it’s regular route, and/or how we can get him to stop for our little one! We live on N. Brownell Rd., so it is not a neighborhood, but we would still like to visit him!  Thanks!”

It’s been a seriously long and cold winter here in Vermont and this week suddenly hit the 60s!

Seeking Tricky Dick Mask

Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2008 by No comments yet

Of course, not all Front Porch Forum postings are weighty, as discussed in the previous entry.  Here’s one just in from Karyl in Huntington…

“Dear friends – Looking to borrow a mask of Richard Nixon. Short notice! I’m catering a  ‘Big Lebowski’ party at a bowling alley and would love for Tricky Dick to make an appearance and throw a few frames.”

I’m willing to bet she finds the mask.  😉