Category Archives: social capital
Who sets the tone for your community?
Susan posted the following on her neighborhood FPF in Essex Junction this week. She issues a great challenge. Are you up for it in your community and on your FPF?
I’d like to offer a one-week challenge for our neighborhood Front Porch Forum. Before we get to the challenge, though, here is a brief story I heard a while ago.
Two newcomers move into town. One of their first trips is to the local grocery store. They ask the cashier, “what’s it like around here?” The cashier pauses, “what was it like where you used to live?” “Oh, we lived in a great neighborhood. People were warm and friendly, you could trust your neighbors, and we felt very safe.” “Well,” responds the cashier, “you’re in luck. Your new neighborhood is just like that!” Some time later, two more newcomers move to town, visit the same grocery store, and ask the cashier the same question. When the cashier asks how it was where they used to live, they reply, “It was an awful place. You couldn’t trust anyone, the neighbors were unfriendly and we never felt safe there.” “Well,” responds the cashier, “I’m sorry to say that you’ll find your new neighborhood is just like that!”
OK, that was the story, here’s the challenge. What if we tried to go for one full week without a single negative post or complaint on our FPF? We could see if there are enough positive and interesting things happening around here to occupy a full week of posts. And, after the week is up, what if we could find a more productive way to discuss the legitimate concerns that inevitably arise? What if our starting place is to assume good intentions on the part of our neighbors, municipal staff and elected officials? What if we could focus more on the issues on less on personalities? What if we could make an effort to ask more questions and gain more understanding before forming our opinions? What if, when we post a concern, we also include a possible solution? It’s been said, “democracy is a conversation, and how we talk to one another is as important as what we talk about and what conclusions we reach.” This is hard work sometimes, especially when the issues are complex and people hold a wide range of viewpoints.
What if we start practicing start right now with something relatively easy; a single week of positive news?
Richmond good neighbors recover forgotten bike
“Reason #57 why we love Richmond: You can forget your unlocked bike at the park and find it again four days later! So grateful to the friend who called after finding the helmet with our name on it, and to the observant villager who got the mountain bike back to us after reading my Front Porch Forum post. He actually joined FPF to figure out how to get the bike back to its owner! Love this town and the people in it, as well as FPF.”
• Kathryn, Richmond FPF
FPF works in Charlotte, Montpelier and Stowe
“2001 Volvo wagon I posted sold yesterday. Thanks to Front Porch Forum and to all who inquired.”
• Marvin, Charlotte FPF
“Talk about the power of our FPF!! I had posted free a CD player, Bose speakers and TV yesterday. The items were all spoken for within 10 minutes of the posting!!! I received 30+ responses so far and have tried to respond to each to explain items were gone plus thank them for their interest. If I missed anyone my apologies. So great to have a way to reach out and repurpose items rather than add to trash. This is why I support FPF with a donation each year and urge those who can please do likewise.”
• Noah, Montpelier FPF
“We have one free twin bed left. Which is awesome since we inherited 6 unneeded beds when we bought our home. Thank you FPF!”
• Kristel, Stowe FPF
Bristol’s “Share the Road” discussion may lead to more considerate behavior
The topic of sharing the road between motorists and cyclists is heating up on the Bristol Front Porch Forum this week. FPF member Marc’s posting made a great point…
I’m feeling a bit nervous now that I have opened the door to this conversation between bicyclists and car drivers sharing the road. But the door is now open so here goes.
After reading your post Ryan I found myself agreeing with almost all your points and identifying with your irritation… It also got me thinking that all your wonderful points and my points and Debbie’s points are maybe beside the point or at least not the main point.
A story: In my early 20s I shared a house with four unrelated people. We would get irritated with each other over not doing the dishes the right way or at all, leaving a mess around, being too noisy, etc. The less time we interacted with each other the more irritated we would get. When we did things together or just hung out and talked things would improve. Somehow people did a little bit of a better job and we became more tolerant and less annoyed. I think what happened is that we saw each other more as people and less as just annoyances and wanted to be nicer to each other.
So in my mind this conversation about bicyclists and car drivers sharing the road is not about whose points are right and whose points are wrong. It’s about having the conversation, making our points in a kind way, hearing our neighbors’ concerns and being heard by our neighbors. My hope is that in some magic way a kind and considerate conversation will lead to kinder and more considerate behavior on everyone’s part and a safer road for all of us.
Lost monkey spotted in Jericho
“On Thursday, my 9-month-old grandson tossed his favorite take-along toy out of the stroller in Mills River Park. It most likely was left on the trail to the off-leash area. It is a cloth, hot pink monkey holding a banana. It has a white plastic ring on it. I believe it is Lamaze brand. If anyone picked it up or knows its whereabouts, I’d be really glad to get it back.”
• Marilyn, Jericho FPF, Sept. 1
“A reader spotted the pink monkey toy on the bridge at the park but it was gone this morning when my daughter went to retrieve it. If anyone picked it up or knows where it is now, we are still eagerly looking for it. Bright pink monkey,holding yellow banana, on a white plastic ring. Lost in Mills River Park on Thursday. Thank you!!”
• Marilyn, Jericho FPF, Sept. 3
“Thanks to everyone who emailed me about the monkey toy. We have made a connection with someone to get it back and we are very glad. Cheers to all of you and Front Porch Forum!! Such a great community and a great community resource!!”
• Marilyn, Jericho FPF, Sept. 4
“What did we do before FPF?”
“I want to thank all of the people who responded to my need for a drying rack. I am all set but am always amazed that so many people respond and are so generous with ideas and products. What did we do before Front Porch Forum?”
• Lucy, Jerico FPF
Organizing a block party? Here’s a simple first step…
“I’m on Sandra Circle and would love to know more of my neighbors! Was thinking of using the street in front of my house possibly to do a cookout for the entire development down past the elementary school as I call all of this my neighborhood! Everyone bring something to share and I’d of course break out the grill!”
• Tamarra, a Burlington neighborhood Front Porch Forum
Good Samaritans help car accident victims between Jeffersonville and Johnson
“On Sunday, my husband, 2 year-old daughter and I went off the road between Jeff and Johnson on Route 15. Many people stopped and endured some pretty steady rain to make sure we were all okay. I didn’t get any names, but I’m hoping some of you are Front Porch Forum members. Thank you for you concern and willingness to lend a hand. We deeply appreciate your kindness! We all walked away just fine (the car was not so lucky). Thank you also to the ambulance crew and officer who responded that night – if you know a first responder, please give them a thank you (or a hug if you are so inclined) from us. We were very rattled and they deserved much more gratitude then we could give that night. Travel safely, friends.”
• Amanda, Cambridge FPF
Farm stand theft in East Montpelier… one bad deed countered by outpouring of good
“Thanks to all who came by for the farm stand today. If you stopped and bought something, that’s great! If you stopped and took all the cash out of our box, that’s terrible!”
• Victoria, Farm Stand at Open Way, East Montpelier FPF
“Hello all– Thanks so much for all the kind offers, both on Front Porch Forum and in personal emails, to make up the money lost at last week’s farm stand. This outpouring has done so much to restore our hope and affection in this community.
“That said, it really is not necessary to do that. Firstly, we don’t know how much was lost in money and product. Secondly, we are not financially dependent on the stand at this point — we both have jobs off the land — and feel like we don’t need the money to get by. I imagine the person who took the money most likely needed it to get by. So if you are feeling like donating money, please pass it along to a food cupboard or a local charity of your choice. Your generosity of spirit is all the gift we needed to feel seen and appreciated in this community. Thank you.
“And come on by the stand this Wednesday, at 800 Templeton Rd, if you like, and see if there’s a vegetable you might like to enjoy! We’ll have so MANY onions, so MUCH garlic, summer squash, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, beans, canned goods, blackberries, carrots, parsnips, herbs, and maybe a sunflower or 2. I will be there with kids, and glad to say hello to you generous and friendly neighbors. Peace, friends.”
• Victoria,Farm Stand at Open Way, East Montpelier FPF, next day
Who to thank in Warren?
“I’d love to know who spotted the fallen tree on my driveway off Old Farm Lane, removed it and cut it to firewood length. I’ve asked all the likely friends and still don’t know. Thank you whoever you are!”
• Howard, Mad River Valley Front Porch Forum
About Blog
Ghost of Midnight is an online journal about fostering community within neighborhoods, with a special focus on Front Porch Forum (FPF). My wife, Valerie, and I founded FPF in 2006... read more
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