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Category Archives: Humor

Is FPF faster than Amazon Prime?

Front Porch Forum members think so!

“Wondering if anyone has an extra battery cord for a Samsung Galaxy S5 they aren’t using or no longer need? Got left behind and thinking that FPF is faster than Amazon Prime.”   • Judy in Ferrisburgh

“I asked for a reciprocating saw, and got SEVEN replies. By the time I could write back, someone had brought me one.  xoxxxxoxooxooxoxoxoxoxo to FPF.”  • Alex in Montpelier

If you need something quickly, just ask your neighbors!


Dancing flagman brings smiles to cars in traffic

Sharing happy moments on Front Porch Forum makes us all smile!

“Most of us who have been caught in traffic have probably been somewhat frustrated at times. That certainly was not the case on Friday! As I was heading south and before I even needed to brake for traffic, I could see something brilliant yellow moving rhythmically…. a dancing flagman. The closer I got to him, the more animated he became. This young man was having such a fine time and sharing his joy with those of us who were fortunate enough to be driving and yes dancing by.” • Ebeth in Charlotte

Here’s to hoping everyone experiences some joy this weekend!


Attempted apiary break-in

“The suspect was large and brown, with a big nose and quite unkept fingernails. A similar break-in was reported 1/4 mile away at a neighbor’s trash can. The suspect’s given name is believed to be Ursus, but uses many aliases including: “Baloo”, “Paddington”, “Smokey”, and”Yogi.” It is believed that the famous, “Poo” of the Hundred Acre Wood is also the same individual, or may be a cousin. Suspect is not believed to be armed, although citizens should consider the suspect to be potentially dangerous in certain circumstances and take appropriate precaution in the event of an encounter. Citizens should be advised that re-currant attacks are possible, even probable, and should take appropriate steps to protect valuable garbage, honey, and any other potential targets. Happily, appropriate safeguards were followed at the apiary for such an event and the perpetrator was unable to access the valuable honey stores.”   • Steven in Middlesex

Have you had bear sightings in your neighborhood? Let you neighbors know by posting on FPF!


Opera scores and Victrolas snatched up on FPF

“So thrilled that some of my unmarked opera scores in great condition were snapped up so quickly, in one day! I am happy that a young local musician will enjoy them now in her music studies as I did! Front Porch Forum is a great idea.” • Annie-Vera in Stowe

“Wow! Front Porch Forum amazes me. Many many people responded to my Roku posting of this morning – but it’s been spoken for.”
• Lawrence in Montpelier

“I think that it is really COOL that my Fridge has sold. I can now CHILL out that its is soon to be gone. Want to thank all that replied, not to FREEZE anyone out here.”  • Paul in Stowe

“The Victrola Was Instantly Claimed! I love FPF. Thanks to everyone for your interest.”  • Elizabeth in Middlebury

Need some speedy responses to items for sale? Post them on FPF!


Pet Bear in Stowe?

FPF members have had great fun writing witty postings about the possibility!

“To the neighbor with the pet bear: Please keep your bear leashed when going past my house. While I truly appreciate you love your pet bear, he or she has now busted open both of my compost bins. It’s especially sneaky of you to walk him or her just in the nighttime, when our dog door is closed.”  • Emily on June 6

“Of course I walk my pet bear late at night without a leash. Honestly, who leashes a pet bear? Anyways. Please let me know if you see her. I’d be forever grateful to get her back.” • John on June 7

“Going on vacation? Busy work schedule? Is your pet bear getting too large for you to walk on your own? I’m open to late night walks….”  • Steve on June 9

“Now, truth be told, I’m fattening my bear up on berries, greens, and wholesome honey right now. I’m confident that when he goes off for his evening strolls he’s so well fed he’s not bothering with my neighbor’s trash, as if he’d deign to eat trash! And, of course, I don’t want him going for brisk walks, that would defeat the butterball bear I’m looking forward to this fall. • Tamara on June 10

“The bear “stories” make me smile every time I read one! I love imagination….and we have been honored with a lot of that lately! Life is so busy…..it’s refreshing to know that people can slow down long enough to have fun!”
• Nancy on June 11

There are many ways to connect with your neighbors on Front Porch Forum! Have some summer fun 🙂


You know you’re in Vermont when….

Two pounds of cheese is found and reported on Front Porch Forum!

“Did you lose your cheese on Friday or Saturday? Found: one 2-lb block of Cabot cheddar on Main Street Saturday morning. Despite adventuring by the side of the road, the packaging looks intact and the cheese looks good. If you can correctly identify whether it was Sharp, Extra Sharp, or Seriously Sharp, I would be happy to reunite it with you.”
Dana in Montpelier

We see some of the best lost and found stories on FPF!

UPDATE: The owner of the lost cheese was not found… However, it will be shared at the upcoming contra dance for all to share “in a glorious celebration of free neighborly cheese.” #DidYouLoseYourCheese


Runaway winter tire found!

Sometimes the posts we see on Front Porch Forum, bring a chuckle and smile. Here’s yours for today!

In the morning: “While putting away my studded snows, one got away from me and rolled down the street and I can’t find it. If it landed in your yard, please let me know…”

By the afternoon: “Well, my ego and reputation may be a bit bruised, but fortunately nothing else was – thanks to the great help of neighbors and the Montpelier Police who found the lost tire that rolled a remarkable trajectory into another neighborhood. If only I could lose the spare tire around my waistline as easily!!”   • Emily in Montpelier


Our Northeast Kingdom neighbors sum it up nicely….

FPF is the Closest Thing to My Favorite Past-Time: Drinking coffee on the front porch of the General Store.”  • Tim in Craftsbury

“FPF is the glue that keeps our rural conversations connected!” • Lian in Walden

“FPF keeps me informed of town and school issues thanks to posting by our town clerk and principal.”  • Rhonda in Morgan

Satisfied members tell their friends about Front Porch Forum… that’s how the word gets out. Have a neighbor in the Northeast Kingdom looking to get connected? Invite them today!


“Too Set in My Ways to Love the Instant Pot”

“The raving of friends about the wonders of pressure cookers intrigued me. The NY Times pushed me over the edge.

“I bought the Instant Pot.

“But I’m too old, I guess. I like to watch my food cooking. And I actually don’t mind if it takes three hours.

“So, I’m offering up an almost-new Instant Pot, used 4 times. It comes with the accessories, manuals, and I’ll throw in three cookbooks, purchased to make me an Instant Pot pro.

“Fifty bucks takes the lot.”

• Deborah, Tunbridge Chelsea Front Porch Forum


Tip from neighbor and two-hour chase brings ducks on the lam home to Huntington

“Thanks to everyone who emailed me about our four missing ducks. A tip from one of you brought us to the pond/pine tree where they were hanging out. After a couple of long hours chasing them around looking like a bunch of idiots, they are back home (with their wings clipped). Thanks, neighbors!”
• Amanda, Huntington FPF

Quack!  Missing an animal or pet of any kind?  Ask neighbors for tips on Front Porch Forum.