Category Archives: Humor

59th Street Bridge Song for Vermont rutted roads

Posted on Thursday, December 4, 2014 by No comments yet

Posted by Barry on the Middlesex Front Porch Forum yesterday…

A ruined Paul Simon “59th Street Bridge song” to sing while driving our rutted roads

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just sliding down the muddy road
Looking for fun, the road is groovy
Ba da da da da da da, the road is groovy
Hello, lamppost, whatcha knowin?
Hope not to hit ya when its snowin
Aintcha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in doo-doo, the road is groovy
Ba da da da da da da, the road is groovy
I got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
Im dappled and drowsy and the road is too steep
Dont let the morning time sic its ice ruts on me
Life, I love you
The road is groovy

He forgot to suggest, Doot-in doo-doo, that we all get good snow tires!
Happy, safe Holidays!

Talking cats?

Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2014 by No comments yet

“Gray and white kitten was picked up by her owner 30 minutes after posting. Until cats start talking, Front Porch Forum is the next best thing.”

Posted by Larry on his Five Sisters FPF today in Burlington.

Why did the bear cross the road in Middlesex?

Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2014 by No comments yet

Posted by Charles on the Middlesex FPF today…

Another bear sighting. This one was a good size and crossed Rt. 100 just north of the recycling center around 9:20 pm on MondayThe answer to the age old question of why did the (insert bear in place of chicken) cross the road seems obvious:
To be mentioned on Front Porch Forum.

Cat that reads

Posted on Friday, July 26, 2013 by No comments yet

#VT – “We just want to thank everyone who reported sitings of our wayward cat, Zoe. She decided to return early Tuesday morning completely happy, healthy and none-the-worse for her travels after almost three weeks away. Clearly, she reads Front Porch Forum.”

Shared by Jill on the Starksboro FPF today.

New twist on “dog ate my homework”

Posted on Monday, April 15, 2013 by No comments yet

#VT – Hey neighbors! This is an odd bulletin but I wanted to share with you that after hiking with my dog at the gorge (aka Cady’s Falls swimming hole) yesterday he became ill in the late afternoon. He presented with ataxia (wobbliness), dry nose and then later in the night he lost control of his bladder and was constantly incontinent. I took him to the emergency vet in Burlington only for them to give him a drug test and find he was high as a kite on pot. Thankfully this wasn’t lethal, but after the two hour drive and $150 vet bill it also isn’t as humorous as it may sound. He threw up quite a bit of stems and other debris this morning and he’s still pretty out of it.

The only place he could have come into contact with this was at the gorge and he did indeed do the normal lab thing of digging around, trying to (and I guess successfully) eating things and rolling in who knows what, so I’m supposing he found someone’s lost stash. I’m hoping this is an isolated incident but if you are hiking with your pup out there please keep a very close eye on them.

Shared by Rebecca on her Morristown Front Porch Forum today.

It takes a village to raise a teenager…

Posted on Saturday, February 16, 2013 by No comments yet

#VT – “Looking for a loud and obnoxious (& cheap) alarm clock to get my teen up in the morning.  I’m sure there must be a few of them out there?”

That’s my favorite Front Porch Forum posting of the hour… from Peter on the Waterbury FPF.

Vermont connection to The Simpsons?

Posted on Saturday, January 26, 2013 by No comments yet

Screen Shot 2013-01-26 at 3.32.49 PM#BTV #VT – Posted by Nicki Feldman on the Underhill Front Porch Forum today…

My brother, Ben Feldman, is 1 of 3 finalists chosen out of 25,000 for a contest on the Simpsons Television Show! The winner will have their illustration animated on the season finale.

I am being a shameless sister and asking if you would please vote for him…check it out!!

Thank you and stay warm : )