Posted on Wednesday, September 21, 2011 by Michael
I think this is a FIRST for Front Porch Forum. Posted by an FPF member in Burlington’s Old North End today…
This morning, at about 1.30 a.m., my husband and I were ripped from coma-like sleep by a loud distress sound. It sounded like it came from about 250 feet away, somehwere on the eastern part of Walnut, up from Dot’s Market. The sound didn’t vary much in pitch. For about 15 minutes, we lay in bed speculating about its its source.
“I think its a possum or something. Perhaps an animal in a have-a-heart trap?,” speculated my husband.
“No, I think it is a seagull. I bet its trapped in a dumpster or garbage,” I offered.
In his boxers, my husband left the house to help the poor animal. He was back shortly after, with the sound was still carrying through the whole neighborhood.
“Not a seagull, Val. A mammal. A **very happy** neighbor.” To maintain the G-rated spirit of Front Porch Forum, I will proceed by referring to the sound sources as the”trapped seagull” and the “seagull rescuer,” who was clearly already on the scene before my husband and I thought to help.
Trapped seagull: I am happy for your late hour pleasure. I know this won’t be an issue in 4 weeks when we have to sleep with our windows closed, but it would be neighborly if you didn’t broadcast your coital bliss over such a wide distance.
Seagull Rescuer: Trapped seagull is not being honest with you. If a seagull were trapped for that long and were forced to give out a distress call at the volume for such a long time, she would, in real life, perish of exhaustion. Only in the movies do seagulls maintain that level of pleasure at that volume for 45 minutes.
Then again, maybe the rest of us are doing it wrong and seagull and rescuer are on to something. Perhaps we can knock on their door and ask them next time we are treated to their pleasure sounds?