Category Archives: Online Civility
Learn something, even if it’s only to disagree
Thoughtful discussion from Front Porch Forum members allows us to learn and connect with our neighbors.
“I have to admit, my favorite bits of FPF are the disagreements. I think arguments on FPF are really helpful. They bring to the surface issues that we don’t always talk about. Everyone gets a chance to gauge the opinions of their neighbors. It’s not hard to chime in. Every time there’s a chain of discussion posts–about panhandling, or dogs, or pedestrians and drivers, I learn something. For me, it’s good to know just how much I disagree, and why, and who I might occasionally agree with.
Consensus might be best, but disagreement is way better than silence. Thanks, to Front Porch Forum and everyone who takes the time to post their arguments.” • Glen, City Councilor in Montpelier
FPF as a discussion tool
Varying opinions on a topic or issue can be difficult when not approached in a civic manner. Front Porch Forum members weigh in:
“Should we be discussing controversial issues on FPF? If not here, where? One of the problems with our pop culture these days is that we are constantly talking to those we agree with. Our social media echo chambers are really hurting our democracy. FPF is fundamentally different from Facebook. It is a platform where I can talk to my neighbors and they can talk to me. Facebook seems to be a self selecting group which will frequently share ones own views. How can we find common ground if we do not talk to one another? I think the discussion on guns in FPF has been respectful, diverse and informative.” • Jeff in Richmond
Use Front Porch Forum to have civil discussions on tough topics and connect with your neighbors.
Open discussions in our communities
We’re happy to see that Front Porch Forum is recommended and used by many to have important discussions on relevant town issues.
“I am really liking this thread on minimum wage. This kind of discussion is exactly what Front Porch Forum was designed for. We should be having a lot more of these kind of discussions as long as we can keep to the issues and not personalize the debate or attack those we disagree with. Our community and indeed our culture in general would be much better served if we had civil discussion and debate about important issues as though we were speaking face-to-face, FPF seems like an excellent vehicle to have those discussions.”
• Jeff, Town Energy Coordinator, Richmond
“The public must be better informed about this School Capital project. Information put on a school website is not adequate public outreach. We recommend Front Porch Forum as it is a primary source of local information for me and many others in the community.” • John in Morrisville
Reach out to your town officials on FPF!
Local issues discussed civilly
While national politics grow ever more divisive, Vermonters appreciate the largely civil debates about local issues that happen on their local Front Porch Forums. For example, in a recent Middlebury FPF…
“I appreciate the civil discussion on FPF regarding the proposed Library expansion. Many interesting perspectives and information have been expressed. Thank you for that. It seems to me that all too often in our society differences of viewpoint cannot be explored respectfully. I appreciate this discussion.” • Christine in Middlebury
Speaking together differently in order to live together differently
Front Porch Forum member, Courtney, shared this lovely piece on promoting and effectively participating in conversations that bring people in our communities together, an initiative created by On Being. There is even a PDF you can download to guide you!:
“The Civil Conversations Project seeks to renew common life in a fractured and tender world. We are a conversation-based, virtues-based resource towards hospitable, trustworthy relationship with and across difference. We honor the power of asking better questions, model reframed approaches to entrenched debates, and insist that the ruptures above the radar do not tell the whole story of our time. We aspire to amplify and cross-pollinate the generative new realities that are also being woven, one word and one life at a time.”
FPF shines as a great format to engage in public awareness / discussion for voters
Across the state, members expressed their appreciation for FPF as a tool to engage and inform neighbors on important issues being voted on in their towns.
“I appreciate this forum and the way this passionate discussion is making it clear that all of us, regardless of our positions, should be sure to vote yay or nay”
• Lydia from Charlotte
“Dear Neighbors, I want to propose a non-partisan FPF discussion thread. The subject is: “Why do so few people vote?” or maybe “Why don’t more people vote?” • Charles from Burlington
“I try to stay current on the goings-on in my community, largely by reading FPF posts, so I am aware that there were house parties, coffee meetings with candidates, and information available online.”
• Jacey from Burlington
“As usual – FPF shines as a great format to accomplish a public awareness / discussion.”
• John from Barre
Front Porch Forum encourages civil discussion about important topics. Be sure your voice is heard!
Wisdom shared on Huntington FPF
“Kindness, honesty, humor, neighborliness, concern, compassion, thoughtfulness, need, curiosity… All words that spark the desire to compose a Front Porch Forum posting. There is no need for aggression, snarkiness (I’m sure it’s a word), or rude and disrespectful comments. Huntington is my home because it’s one of the most lovely places in this country and there is no need to let a neighbors’ opinion or comment ruffle your feathers. It takes all kinds. Not one of us is just like the next.”
• Braeden, Huntington FPF
Who sets the tone for your community?
Susan posted the following on her neighborhood FPF in Essex Junction this week. She issues a great challenge. Are you up for it in your community and on your FPF?
I’d like to offer a one-week challenge for our neighborhood Front Porch Forum. Before we get to the challenge, though, here is a brief story I heard a while ago.
Two newcomers move into town. One of their first trips is to the local grocery store. They ask the cashier, “what’s it like around here?” The cashier pauses, “what was it like where you used to live?” “Oh, we lived in a great neighborhood. People were warm and friendly, you could trust your neighbors, and we felt very safe.” “Well,” responds the cashier, “you’re in luck. Your new neighborhood is just like that!” Some time later, two more newcomers move to town, visit the same grocery store, and ask the cashier the same question. When the cashier asks how it was where they used to live, they reply, “It was an awful place. You couldn’t trust anyone, the neighbors were unfriendly and we never felt safe there.” “Well,” responds the cashier, “I’m sorry to say that you’ll find your new neighborhood is just like that!”
OK, that was the story, here’s the challenge. What if we tried to go for one full week without a single negative post or complaint on our FPF? We could see if there are enough positive and interesting things happening around here to occupy a full week of posts. And, after the week is up, what if we could find a more productive way to discuss the legitimate concerns that inevitably arise? What if our starting place is to assume good intentions on the part of our neighbors, municipal staff and elected officials? What if we could focus more on the issues on less on personalities? What if we could make an effort to ask more questions and gain more understanding before forming our opinions? What if, when we post a concern, we also include a possible solution? It’s been said, “democracy is a conversation, and how we talk to one another is as important as what we talk about and what conclusions we reach.” This is hard work sometimes, especially when the issues are complex and people hold a wide range of viewpoints.
What if we start practicing start right now with something relatively easy; a single week of positive news?
Bristol’s “Share the Road” discussion may lead to more considerate behavior
The topic of sharing the road between motorists and cyclists is heating up on the Bristol Front Porch Forum this week. FPF member Marc’s posting made a great point…
I’m feeling a bit nervous now that I have opened the door to this conversation between bicyclists and car drivers sharing the road. But the door is now open so here goes.
After reading your post Ryan I found myself agreeing with almost all your points and identifying with your irritation… It also got me thinking that all your wonderful points and my points and Debbie’s points are maybe beside the point or at least not the main point.
A story: In my early 20s I shared a house with four unrelated people. We would get irritated with each other over not doing the dishes the right way or at all, leaving a mess around, being too noisy, etc. The less time we interacted with each other the more irritated we would get. When we did things together or just hung out and talked things would improve. Somehow people did a little bit of a better job and we became more tolerant and less annoyed. I think what happened is that we saw each other more as people and less as just annoyances and wanted to be nicer to each other.
So in my mind this conversation about bicyclists and car drivers sharing the road is not about whose points are right and whose points are wrong. It’s about having the conversation, making our points in a kind way, hearing our neighbors’ concerns and being heard by our neighbors. My hope is that in some magic way a kind and considerate conversation will lead to kinder and more considerate behavior on everyone’s part and a safer road for all of us.
Praise in public; criticize in private
“I’ve read some recent public appraisals of public servants on FPF. There is an old and very good adage about this. Praise in public; criticize in private. When we have a problem with how someone’s performance or behavior is affecting us, it is best to tell that person directly, in private. Try to do it without personalizing it and assume the other is a good person who wants to do the best they can. Doing it in public humiliates and hurts people but rarely resolves a conflict.”
• Michael, Westford Front Porch Forum
About Blog
Ghost of Midnight is an online journal about fostering community within neighborhoods, with a special focus on Front Porch Forum (FPF). My wife, Valerie, and I founded FPF in 2006... read more
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